Sylvianne checked her bag, again. Pens, pencils, note book. Yep all there. She must have checked her bag 5 times already, but nerves were getting to her. She swung the tote bag over her shoulder and walked through the college foyer, she had been directed through to the IT bloc. Brian Holton’s classes were being held there. She was early but she didn’t care, she’d worried she wouldn’t get a parking space, the college car park could be called miniscule at best and there was no on road parking any where near the college, which all meant a potential hike from the nearest car park at the opposite side of town, if she hadn’t got there is good time.
Sylvianne poked her head around the door, there were banks of PC’s on benches in rows; from her limited knowledge of these things, she thought these looked quite old fashioned, big screened units with wires bundled loosely and tied with garden twine; wasn’t everything supposed to be mirco dotted these days?
She heard the scuff of shoes on the tiles behind her and turned to see a youngish chap approaching at a quick no nonsense pace and a ready toothy smile. She smiled back tentatively, she didn’t know if he were student or tutor.
‘T’internet for beginners?’ He asked. He sounded as chirpy as he looked, and had a winning smile which widened even further if that were possible, when she nodded. ‘Hi there. I’m Brian.’ He offered his hand and pumped hers enthusiastically when she grasped it gently. ‘It’s ok go straight in, find yourself somewhere to camp, but don’t go hiding at the back, we don’t have a really large class and you won’t be able to hear me all the way over there.’
With that he eased past her and walked straight over to the white board at the front of the class. Sylvianne followed, deciding on a 2nd row seat- not too keen, not too coy. Putting her bag down she looked over her machine, she realised she didn’t even know how to switch the bloody thing on. Could she feel more stupid? She felt alarming stirrings of uncertainty, which wasn’t for the first time today. She had called that phone number from the local newspaper and followed through with the registration process for the beginners web course on a wave of manic focus that was driven in part from, ridiculous though it may sound, the confidence boost she had enjoyed from the the new hair cut but more importantly what was at long last a resolve to improve her lot. Inevitably as this day approached, she felt that resolve waiver everso slightly, and now if she were being entirely honest, she felt positively ill, she hadn’t been on a course of any description in years and years.
‘Surfing’. That made it all sound west coast hippy and fun and so as more people drifted in to the computer lab, she determined that that was exactly how she should approach it. If only her stomach could quit with the colly wobbles she might stand a gnats chance of accepting it.
As it turned out she really needn’t to have worried, she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know how to turn on the archaic PC’s much to her relief, and with some confidence restored she took interest in her immediate colleagues; sat as she was next to a rather pleasant gentleman of 72 who despite his advancing years was able to offer timely hints whenever she faltered, and directly behind her was a lively woman called Brenda, who was both robust and effervescent with a blousy charm that got her through almost everything presented to her, familiar or not, which Sylvianne surmised probably reflected how she conducted almost all aspects of her life. Sylvianne found her self genuinely enjoying both their company and the off beat humour with which Brian managed the mish mash of personalities and abilities, which in turn helped her navigate her way around surfing the web, understanding URLs and setting up email accounts.
Sylvianne completed the evening having ‘surfed’ – and felt pleased to have found Wikipeadia, in particular the entry for the Roque de los Muchachos Observatory, La Palma. She also set herself up with an email account in Yahoo; Brenda had shown some real flair choosing to set up a Hotmail account calling herself crazycakelady@hotmail.com which immediately had Sylvianne disappointed she hadn’t shown a similarly adventurous streak, having settled for a straight forward sstockard@yahoo.co.uk which on reflection seemed remarkably uninventive. However, determined not to let that dampen her spirits, she headed home armed with an email account of her own and details concerning the La Palma observatory.
With the elapse of time, comes clarity.
It can take a while, longer for some than others. But when it comes, it becomes possible to re-evaluate happenings, like the disintegration of a relationship, in cold clinical detail; it can be viewed in dispassionate 3D glory, from every conceivable angle – and at some point, even the most reluctant will come to see what had previously been mystifying.
Sylvianne knew intimately each of the way points that marked the decline of her marriage, and signified another notch nearer to it’s collapse; but more unappetising still, was seeing the part she too had played in it’s demise. Whilst Stockard had been the one who had issued the final coup de grace, the bitter fact remained they had both been complicit in allowing their marriage to shrivel and die.
She had shied away from confronting that fact. She would retreat to bitterness and blame. Stockard had left her. He had walked away from their marriage, he had turned her life on it’s head, all her present misery was laid at his door.
But secret whispers came to her. Little truths.
She opened up the Laptop at home, it was different to the PC at the college but she had talked to Brian about that and he had gone to in to some detail with everyone about the obvious differences between PC’s; Laptops and Tablets. She wasn’t so out of modern life that she hadn’t understood and here she was connecting to her newly opened email account. Thankfully the technology that linked her machine to the outside world had long since been installed and taken for granted, she had no idea how it all worked, there was a router thing which winked and blinked in the study and that was the extent to her technological foray – if it ever failed to work, she would need to call someone, but for now she was online and that was fine.
She hadn’t ever really felt a need for emails or even computers, but more and more she had come to see she was isolating herself from the world by not having these basic skills. It didn’t even make her feel accomplished to have finally got on board, she just felt it was about time.
Sylvianne began her first ever email. To the recipient at the Roque de los Muchachos Observatory. Her son, Josh.
Hi Josh. It’s me. Mum. Look at me! I’ve finally gone and done it. I don’t know why it took me so long to join in with the rest of the world – on this wide wide web! But here I am. I joined a class at college, just once a week, we’re going to be covering all sort of things, basic stuff mainly. We did emails tonight, so I wanted to do this while it was all fresh in my mind. So how are you? I know you’re on late shifts at the min, which is why, when I started this course, I thought you above everyone would benefit from my new found IT literacy skills. I hope you aren’t working too hard, and you’re taking time for yourself, maybe going over to Tenerife, for at least a little fun? – all work and no play and all that, you know. Please email me back, so I know this all works. I think I prefer actual talking but this I think could work, when real talking is more difficult. Talk soon. Love Mum. xxx
Well it wasn’t exactly Shelley but it made contact. She had finally gone and done it, after everyone’s moaning about her lack of interest in being ‘connected’. She’d told Josh she had upped and joined a class. Just like that. When in reality it had been wholly more than that. It started she thought, when she had looked up in to her dressing table mirror and she had seen what she had let herself become. Really seen. But that had nothing to do with Josh, he didn’t need to know all of that, it was enough to say she had joined a class – no one needed to know the monumental efforts she was prepared to put herself through, it was enough to know that she knew. She had looked up, and she had seen.
She pressed send.
She looked up then, startled. There was a firm rap at the back door. Sylvianne was sat at her kitchen table with her laptop; her tote bag just left by the door where she had dropped it in her haste to get in to email Josh and she still had on her rain coat. As she looked over to the door, she could see through the side window that it was Ellen at her door, Ellen, looking back through the window saw Sylvianne, waving back at her to come on in.
As Ellen came through, Sylvianne removed her coat and put it over the chair back, and walked over to put on the kettle. ‘Hi Ellen, kettle going on, want a brew?’ It wasn’t exactly a regular occurrence but Ellen did make her way over for tea often enough for Sylvianne to know exactly what the answer would be.
‘Yes indeedy. Just saw you dirve in – where have you been? It’s not like you to be out of an evening.’
‘I know. But I have officially joined the brave new world of technology. I just sent Josh an email.’ Sylvianne flicked the switch and turned toward Ellen who was now sat down at the table, she brought two mugs to the island worktop and fetched instant coffee and tea bags.
‘I skype.’
Sylvianne’s hands stilled on the mugs as she looked over to Ellen, who was looking over at the laptop. If ever Sylvianne needed reinforcement that it was well past time to get with the programme, it was now.
‘I checked out the observatory on Wikipeadia too – I’ve enrolled on the college’s adult basic web programme,it was good. First time tonight.’
Ellen nodded. ‘Yes. I did that too. It’s amazing all the things you will be able to look at now, it’s an excellent way to doodle away hours of time.’ Ellen smiled then ‘ I even do my shopping online these days, and they all offer it now you know and Christmas shopping, it saved me killing myself in the crush.’
Sylvianne nodded enthusiastically at this thought, ‘Brian. Brian Holton. He’s the tutor, he said we would look at shopping, Ebay and Paypal accounts next week.
‘I know Brian. Such a nice chap. You will be up and whizzing about the internet in no time, like you’ve been doing it all your life. Glad you’re getting out and about Sylvianne. You’re looking better in yourself too, I noticed that the other day. Your hair is looking lovely by the way and you have some bloom to you.’
Sylvianne acknowledged this information, she did look better, that much was obvious. Sarah had added the promised highlights to the hair cut from the week previous – honey and hazelnut apparently. It sounded more edible than glamorous, but the final effect had been subtle, blending out the aging greyness, but not so completely as to make her look false. ‘Thanks for that Ellen, I do feel better, it’s true.’ She paused, about to say more, but as she handed over the mug of tea she saw that Ellen was looking very tired, and drawn. ‘But you, you look tired Ellen are you ok?’
Ellen looked rueful. ‘I have toothache’
Sylvianne didn’t laugh out loud, but with humour she said, ‘Ellen you have dentures!’
Ellen grasped the mug of tea ‘I know. It’s weird isn’t it?’
Sylvianne sat opposite the older woman. ‘You Skype?’
Island Girl 